i'm ready for summer. and the warm weather. the warm(ish) weather that we have had is teasing me. i'm ready for prom. and graduation, and doing what my passion is. full time. i love my friends, and this may be the last summeri can hang with some of them. for my BFFES, i know it will be one of many that we share after high school. and that is exciting beyond measure.

devin and i are done. he says he wants me back, he made a mistake. but i'm good. i told him we should just be friends. it's best. his friend Logan likes me. idk about that one. he seems cool, is cute, and all that. but just not what i'm looking for. i'm glad stephen adn i are talking again. i missed that kid. idk what will happen there, but i will know in time. tim. great guy. great friend. curtis...i love him. really. i wonder what happened between he and hannah. i hope things are good. i've really missed him.i'm glad he is in my life, again.

i love life right now. today i'm happy and bouncy and just...happy. i haven't felt this way in a long, long time. i almost forgot how great it feels.

i don't know what the future holds, but days like these make it look really promising. and that makes me smile.

There's something different about me.
I have popular friends, and some that aren't so popular.
Lots of people say that I'm pretty but I don't try to be.
I don't want to be the popular person with backstabbing backstabbing friends.
I want to be the person with great friends who'll never hurt me.
I don't want to be the popular girl every guy wants to be with because she's sexy.
I want to be the girl only one guy wants to be with because he thinks I'm beautiful inside and out.
I don't want to be the girl everyone wants to be.
I want to be me, the person no one else can be.

courtwarming tonight, i'm happy that i am going with someone that i really like. that i am dating. not just my best guy-friend, not just with my girls, not just with a boy just so i have a date that i end up ditching, ha. i really like devin. and i'm glad that he likes me too.

she found the person who completes her.
he knows what to say to make her smile.
he promises that he won't leave.
and it's taking a while for her to believe him
but it seems like this is real.

mom, i love you. i hate that we are fighting. i hate that i'm not at home. i hate that we don't get along. i hate that i'm moving away to pursue my dreams and you don't approve. i hate this situation. but i love you

you could have a smile on your face and a
twinkle in your eye, but only a true best friend
knows that you're really about to cry.

this isn't me.

i'm not the type of girl that hangs out with a boy and lets him in without knowing if the ending will be good or...i'm the type that says she doesn't want a relationship and sticks to it. i guess i do want one though. i want a boy that won't hurt me and lead me on and that i find adorable and so does my friends. i know i do. but right now...i don't know if it is best. and i don't want to let anyone in because they have all hurt me before.

before you give your heart away...remember all the boys who took a piece and never put it back before him. get ready to lose another

And don't you just hate it
when your falling for that one boy,
and you keep telling yourself
to stop before you get hurt...
but your heart won't let you?

it is break. the last Christmas break of my high school career. i thought that i would feel old and mature. being a senior and all. then i met a boy. and apprently i am young. because of a 4 year age difference. i like him. but we are better as friends. he doesn't want to hurt me in the long run. hmmmm. i guess he was thinking about the future.

For the first time I finally found someone worth trying to get. It's not like 'oh, I like him.' It's more like 'I really like him and I really want him'.

i'm close to amanda and kim. they are my BFFEs. i love them. but lately i feel like they are closer without me. idk. i don't want to sound like i'm complaining all of the time. i know people have problems that are bigger than mine. but like i said, it's just how i am feeling. then angie and i are way far away. we  haven't talked over break. why? she was the one i always confided in. now...

i got the guitar that i wanted. now i can put real music to the books of music that i have written. not just piano. which never really suits it like my guitar.

i was supposed to be at a retreat. but my mom made me job hunt instead. i need the money. the car payment is stressing me. again with the complaining. but it is.i miss the retreat and people and some of them are prob going to be way mad at me because i said i would be there. great.

goodbye to 2006. i'm ready for the new year.

First semester is coming to an end. and Christmas, yes CHRISTmas break is soon .that means an actual break. where i can (hopefully) relax and spend time with those that i love. and when 2007 gets here, that only means 4 more months and 20 days until graduation.

i have decided to go to Nashville at the end of the summer. i am doing the sountry msuic thing that i love. maybe the songs that i have written will be heard and talked about and sang along to. maybe they will touch someone that has gone through the same experiences i sing about. that is what i'm going for anyway. and  i am trying out for American Idol. Thank you Trey and Becca who finally made me sing in front of them and the support you gave me and the aw at the fact you said i was really good. i love that.

as for my mom. she said she was supportive. but now she seems to be changing her mind. saying i should go straight to college. wow. how easily her mind is changed even though her support was one of the main things that i wanted out of my decision.

I hope it all works out. because i feel as if i am hiding behind all my other plans, which i consider to be back-up. i hope it helps Zion to come forth, because my whole life anything that i have ever wanted to do career wise-even though it has always been mainly singing, acting, and dancing-i love them with all my heart- it has never seemed to do anything for the Kingdom. and that is something i have always prayed about and struggled with.

Love you all